You People Make Me Sick!

So I was suspended over that “Murder Accusation” on our Fundrive show but at least I was happy that my audience called in and raised $5,150 to buy new equipment for the station – or so I thought. We had 43 people call in with pledges during our show, but apparently some of them were fake pledges called in by a prankster. Okay maybe it was more than a few, more like EVERY CALL WAS A FAKE PLEDGE.

Apparently the likes of Dick Tater, Holden McGroin, Anita Bath, Sue Flockey and Hugh Jass are not real people.

So to summarize:

$5,150 in phone pledges
$5,150 in fake pledges
$0 - Total amount of donations raised by listeners to What The?

I am not sure if this was more than one person but to call 43 times in 43 different names in 90 minutes is impressive.

I don’t like to throw people under the bus, but shouldn’t the phone operators do some kind of checking the people who call in with pledges? Kide was one of the operators and he is my good friend but he is not “street wise” or "wise in any way" so I don't expect anything less but you think the other two operators would realize what was going on?

So here are a few more of the names:

A. Payne-Diaz, Turner Luce, Luciano Pavearoadi (come on, you didn’t even try on this one), Hugo First, Gladys Overwith, Isabelle Ringing, Noah Fence, Dick Rasche, Mary Lynn King, Kareem Pye, Felicity Shagwell, Oliver Klohsoff, Iyama Pharding, Billy Obama, Steven Harper Jr, David Puddy, Brock Lee, Parah Sallin, Lionel Hutz
All three members of Nirvana:
Kurt Cobain (I think the fact that he has been dead for ten years should have been given it away), Kris Novelselic, Dave Grohl

Lucky for the station the listeners of other shows are not quite as sick and demented as CFUV raised $25,934. Thank you other listeners of CFUV and I would like to thank the What The? Listener for NOTHING.

Dear Mr. Kennedy, "Sorry for calling you a murderer"

First off, thanks for donating your hard earned or stolen money to CFUV's annual Fundrive. This was What The?'s best year as the show raised over $5,000! The generosity of the What The? listener surprised me. Thank you and we promise not to bother you for another year.The great thing about doing a radio show is that I learn something every week. Elliott Otto the Station's M.G.P.o.P.R. informed me that you cannot accuse someone of murder on the air. Who new?

Well it all started last week when we were doing our Fundrive show. One of our regular callers - Timmy the Schizophrenic Psychic Medium called up and donated to the show. He randomly channels dead celebrities and they speak telepathically through him. At the time, I thought it was a good idea to put him live on the air. I was hoping he would channel someone like the Kurt Cobain or Jerry Lewis to help us push for donations. (Thanks to those who told me that Jerry Lewis is alive, it's just his career and view of reality that are dead). Unfortunately Timmy channelled Mary Jo Kopechne, the women who died in the 1969 car crash with Ted Kennedy. Timmy/Mary them went on a rant and accused Ted Kennedy of killing her and pleading with him to confess the crime before he "croaked and his murderous soul was sent to Hell to burn forever you heartless bastard". (Timmy/Mary's words not mine)

So with that….

We at What The? apologise for any accusations implicating Ted Kennedy in the murder of Mary Jo Kopechne. This was meant as mindless harmless fun and not meant to offend anyone. Mr. Kennedy was never charged with any killing/murderish like crime in the case and is therefore innocent in the eyes of the law and supporters of Mr. Kennedy who called the station to complain. We wish Ted Kennedy the best of luck in his health issues. Mr. Kennedy if you are reading this please cheer up because no matter how bad your health is, you still feel a lot better than Mary Jo Kopechne.

Unfortunately, because of this incident I was suspended for one week. The good thing is that we were not even scheduled next week as March 20 is the 24 hour Women's Radio Telethon. To quote Tommy Carson, "May the spirit of Gloria Steinem to Gloria Gaynor be with you"
So see you in two weeks as we return for a brand new season on March 27.

March 6 - One Week till Fundrive

Since Tommy Carson and Footbread Kenny now write blogs I thought it was time to start a show blog. I will discuss past shows, future shows and incomprehensible ramblings after I have been drinking.

March 13 - On a special episode of What The? we try to raise money for the station to buy new equipment as part of Fundrive week. So remember your good friends at CFUV and start saving or stealing for our once a year fundraising show. (Craig tip of the day: small bills are harder to trace so remember to ask for them at your next robbery)



But First, on our next show.



March 6

• Lalonde Goodenough of Goudenough Home Renovations will discuss the Home Show this weekend at Victoria's Memorial Arena. If quality is not important, Lalonde will provide drastically discounted and quick home renovations for the less discerning homeowner. As Lalonde says, "WHEN GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH CALL GOODENOUGH HOME RENOVATIONS."


• Tommy Carson will discuss his Stagger for Sobriety charity run to help the homeless and his flirtation with actress Susan Dey on a recent trip to Seattle.

On our last show:

February 27

Thanks to Rodger Walters, cousin of Roger Watters, for calling us from London. (I think it was England but after hearing Rodger's accent it could have been London, Ontario). Rodger will be coming to Canada this summer as part of the Roger Waters Reality Tour. Rodger will give the dirt and all the inside stories about Roger Waters and members of Pink Floyd. Rodger and Roger do not speak anymore since the incident with the brick so it should be a lively discussion. Rodger will also be playing Pink Floyd's greatest hits - on the accordian. This should be a great show and appeal to people who love or hate Roger Waters.

Be sure to listen to What The? for the official announcement of the tour dates.