Show Wrap-Up - November 19, 2010

On the last show

Kide was in studio and he told us that he built an outhouse in his yard. Its great because the smell keeps away criminals. I like having Kide on the show as he makes me feel like the Fonz when he is around.

We had Finance Minister Colin Hansen on to talk about the claims that Gordon Campbell was a bully as a Premier. Hansen said that Campbell is a great man and wants him back. When asked about his black eye Hansen claimed he “fell down some stairs”

Tommy Carson came on and told us that he endorsed Barry the Hobbit for Victoria Council because of his fiscal responsibility platform, anti bridge stance and because he was a midget. I informed Tommy that his name was Barry Hobbis and not Barry the Hobbit, Tommy took back his endorsement because he wants to see more midgets, dwarfs and guys with the Gary Coleman disease in politics because little people make him laugh.

Council candidate Cameron Paign discussed his main campaign issue - smelly buses. He would eliminate bus stink by instituting a class system in which on Double Decker buses, the upper deck would be considered first class and cost more, but be stink free. Apparently public transportation stink was not an issue with the electorate as Paign only received 4 votes in Saturday's election.

Our last guest was an angry Mayor Dean who threatened that if the people did not vote Yes in Saturday's election to build a new bridge, he would personally destroy the old bridge by taking out the bolts and vandalizing it until "that piece of rusts falls into the ocean so I can get my Fortin Memorial Bridge"

Next show - November 26th - Mayor Dean gloats about winning the vote to borrow 50 million to build a new bridge.

Show wrap-up – September 24th

On our Last show...

Elliott Otto, the Managing General Partner of Programming Relations, was on the show asking about my dad. The previous week my dad got a hernia while listening to the show and Otto was worried that soundwaves from the show may have caused the hernia. Actually Otto was concerned that my dad may sue the station and since the "hostage taking" the station has no money. I assured him that my dad has no plans to sue the station as he is too busy with his ongoing lawsuit against the CBC for cancelling The King of Kensington.

Otto was in a good mood because he has a new girlfriend. "She's a perfect 10 - except for the third hand" Apparently she was born with a second hand on her right arm that doesn't actually work but just kind of hangs there. As Otto says, "Its kind of gross looking and it sounds like she is clapping when she walks but she makes a great potato salad so at least I got that going for me"
Our next guest was Tommy Carson.

On Friday there was a promotion called Wakeupvictoria in which businesses in downtown Victoria gave free coffee to workers as a thanks for their support. Tommy saw this as an opportunity to make money so he got a bunch of old gas cans (which were cleaned in AC Crunch’s dishwasher) and gathered up the Tamil migrants he helped smuggle into the country. They went to every shop that was part of the promotion, filled the gas cans and then drove to Langford to sell the coffee out of the trunk of Tommy’s Cadillac. Even though the thought of buying old coffee out of an old gas can sounds disgusting, I bet it still tastes better than Starbucks.

Our last guest on the show was William Kahne (this was a weird story - even for our show)

Kahne was walking down the street in his town of Ontario, California when he saw William Shatner. He was there filming a Priceline.com commercial. Kahne is a big fan of Shatner and yelled, “Hey Shatner, want a donut?” Kahne just came from a Krispy Kreme and had a dozen donuts and wanted to give one to Shatner.

Unfortunately Kahne has a speech impediment and Shatner thought he was calling him “Fatner”. Shatner got mad and said “I am not fat and I can easily do 100 pushups right now you skinny boob!”. He got to 8 pushups and started convulsing on the ground. Kahne panicked and started tasering Shatner because he thought it would start his heart. The tasering may have helped as Shatner did stop convulsing (but it also caused Shatner to have an “accident” in his pants) After Shatner recovered consciousness, he threatened to make Kahne's life "more miserable than a Klingon with diarreaha" Kahne now claims that Shatner is stalking him by waiting outside his house with a TJ Hooker like billy club. Kahne is now scared and has not left his house in two months and buys everything he needs off of eBay - including canned beans.


On our next show (October 1st) – BURTON CUMMINGS STOLE MY RIDING LAWN MOWER (and my girlfriend)

Bowling on Friday

Its been a long time since I blogged. Time flies when you're an alcoholic.

On our next show we will be live in Laughlin, Nevada at the Penny Lanes Bowl as part of Tommy Carson's Phoneless NOT Homeless campaign to give free cell phones to the homeless. Tommy is organizing a 9.5 hour bowling marathon to help raise funds for this worthy campaign. After the success of Tommy's Drunkfess for the Homeless, he is once again helping the down and out by giving them phones so they don't have to live with the shame of not being able to text/call their bff's

We will also be interviewing a CRD Hartland Dump representative about the possiblility of the CRD instituting an environmental levy on produce peels and meat/chicken bones.

Thanks to Kide from the show Armenia Today who will be in the studio to make sure things go smoothly - if that is possible.

Craig